This is Missy.  Can I help you?

If you call the Middle School where I work, that is what you are likely to hear when I answer the phone.  The parents that call throughout the day are kind and gracious, apologizing for interrupting my work.  But it’s what I do.  It’s what I want to do.  To help them, and to help others.  It’s not altruism if you get something out of it, is it?

I’m pursing a Masters in School Counseling, also a helping profession.  It’s what I enjoy, it’s what I do. 

What I find most challenging is helping myself.  The faculty at Western Carolina, and the profession as a whole, emphasize time and again the importance of self-care.  Just as you’re instructed to do on a plane, with a small child, in the event there is a loss of oxygen.  Help yourself first, so you can help the one in need beside you. 

I recently finished a class on addiction and one of our assignments was to abstain from one thing, while simultaneously embracing another, the other being something good for us.  After considerable deliberation, I gave up texting.  I will spare you the details, but suffice it to say I found it difficult to refrain and relapsed on more than one occasion. 

What surprised me was how much harder it was to make time for meditation, my enriching activity.  There was time, but what I truly lacked was commitment.  Housework, homework, my children, and their homework all took precedence over that portion of the assignment.  It was easy to disregard because making time for that, meant making time for me, and well, if I’m taking care of myself, I’m not taking care of anyone else.

Oxygen, anyone?  I get it.  And you know who else does?  My new favorite heroine, Brené Brown.  She’s a professor of Social Work at the University of Houston who has made significant strides in what we know about shame, vulnerability, and wholehearted living through her research.  She posted a play list on her blog today, and it’s inspiring me.  What will I find this summer to be my oxygen, to fill my lungs and thereby my soul?  Running, hiking, reading, meditating, and most importantly being with my children.  These will fill my heart and soul.

What will you do?

PS – I must give my friend and colleague, John Douglas, Assistant Principal at Carolina Day Middle School, credit for introducing me to Brown’s work.  I think I will be forever grateful.